For those who fear that general enthusiasm for driving is in decline, I have positive news: it’s actually so great that even rats enjoy it.

Kelly Lambert, a professor of behavioural neuroscience at the University of Richmond in Virginia (who attaches far more academic and intellectual rigour to her research than I will to interpreting it – soz), found in 2019 that rats could learn to drive little cars to reach a treat (a Froot Loop, since you’re asking).

Rats who were “housed in rich environments”, with toys and space and companions, more quickly learned to drive cars than those housed in regular cages.

Having initially learned to drive forwards in simple cars made from plastic cereal containers by grasping a wire acting as an accelerator, the rats were put into more advanced cars and “before long they were steering with surprising precision to reach a Froot Loop treat”, Lambert wrote for the excellent news website The Conversation last week.

Her research hasn’t stopped. When she walked into the lab during summer 2020, “the three driving-trained rats eagerly ran to the side of the cage, jumping up like my dog does when asked if he wants to take a walk”, she wrote.

“Had the rats always done this and I just hadn’t noticed? Were they just eager for a Froot Loop, or anticipating the drive itself? Whatever the case, they appeared to be feeling something positive – perhaps excitement and anticipation.”

I think I know this feeling when I return to long-stay parking at the airport.

The study, I should say, wasn’t exactly about driving but about positive emotions in animals.

In tests to measure rodent optimism, “preliminary results suggest that rats required to wait for rewards show signs of shifting from a pessimistic cognitive style to an optimistic one”. Such rats perform cognitive tasks better and solve problems more boldly.

Lambert’s lab has linked this research with its studies into ‘behaviourceuticals’ – a term suggesting experiences can alter brain chemistry like drugs do.

“Previous work with lab rats has shown that rats pressing a bar for cocaine – a stimulant that increases dopamine activation – already experience a surge of dopamine as they anticipate a dose of cocaine,” she explained.

And if you think that lab rats are having all the fun, driving around for sweet treats and getting caned off their tits, maybe they deserve a break.

“In a study that wouldn’t be permitted today, [neuroscientist Curt Richter] made rats swim in glass cylinders filled with water, eventually drowning from exhaustion if they weren’t rescued,” Lambert continued.

“Lab rats frequently handled by humans swam for hours to days. Wild rats gave up after just a few minutes. If the wild rats were briefly rescued, however, their survival time extended dramatically, sometimes by days. It seemed that being rescued gave the rats hope and spurred them on.”

Basically, positivity and sociability seems to propagate hope, which in turn is good for the brain.

It’s possible that I might be overextending the lesson here, but it seems worth remembering by anyone who spends too many hours on X.

Back to driving, though, and what rats think of the thrill of the open road. “While we can’t directly ask rats whether they like to drive, we devised a behavioural test to assess their motivation to drive,” Lambert reported.

“This time, instead of only giving rats the option of driving to the Froot Loop Tree, they could also make a shorter journey on foot – or paw, in this case.

"Surprisingly, two of the three rats chose to take the less efficient path of turning away from the reward and running to the car to drive to their Froot Loop destination.

"This response suggests that the rats enjoy both the journey and the rewarding destination.”

For every dismal journey in dawdling traffic, then, I shall try to remember to take a weekend jaunt to somewhere like Caffeine & Machine, which might be just the thing to rejuvenate the old noggin.

“Rather than pushing buttons for instant rewards, [these rats] remind us that planning, anticipating and enjoying the ride may be key to a healthy brain,” concluded Lambert.

“That’s a lesson my lab rats have taught me well.”

Duly noted.