You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack; you may find yourself in another part of the world; you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile; and you may find yourself in a stuffy photo studio waiting for the reveal of a new car; and you may ask yourself: "How did I get here?" 

No, you're not David Byrne, frontman of new wave group Talking Heads (for those who may have missed the lyrical reference), but a motoring journalist on a car launch. 

It's 5.30am and your alarm is blaring from across the room. You're in a strange hotel somewhere on the outskirts of Paris, trying to will yourself into forward movement so that you have time to get some caffeine into your system before the shuttle bus takes you to the launch venue. 

So how did you find yourself here? Well, behind every page of Autocar lies a spreadsheet detailing every new car unveiling: what model it is, when and where the launch is taking place, who's going and when we're allowed to talk about it. 

Co-ordinating the news section of the magazine, website and social media feeds is a complex spider's web of organisation, ruled by those competent enough to distribute the boots-on-the-ground legwork of those such as myself. 

For Autocar, the reveal is the static unveiling of a new model (either at a private preview or a public event); the launch is when we get to drive that model, and those come a while later. 

Once a journalist's name has been assigned to an event, there follows an email from the relevant car firm's PR department asking for passport details, dietary requirements (I'll eat anything, thanks) and whether we'd like airport parking (yes, please). 

It's all elementary stuff, but it's necessary in order to get to the fun part. 

Prior to the event, there will be a conversation within the editorial team about the nature of the event: which executives will be present to probe for news, what 'hook' we'll hang the story off and what opportunities there might be for gathering fun clips for social media. 

We'll be mulling it all during the flight to the event, daydreaming about the Oscar we'll win for slamming a few car doors and videoing the tinny clinks they make. By the time we're at the hotel, fed and ready to turn in, it's close to midnight. 

By 8am, we're on location at a studio somewhere else on the outskirts of a big city, trying not to think about all the near-misses we witnessed from the back of a minibus as it fought its way through the rush-hour traffic. 

Proceedings kick off with a bit of downtime before the main press conference. Typically, journalists of different nationalities mingle with each other-forming cliques not unlike those you'll remember from school - while some opt to open their laptops, typing with one hand and tucking into a pastry with the other. 

There's just about time to fire off some emails before we shuffle into the main room for a press conference, greeted by a who's who of, in this case, senior Renault executives, who are about to show us the new Twingo. 

This bit, again, feels like being back at school, sat bolt-upright on a slightly uncomfortable bench paying great attention to the headmaster; today it's design boss Laurens van den Acker. 

In a welcome change of pace from the usual, van den Acker beckons us up to walk us around the car and explain the big details. He's especially proud of how Renault managed to keep the concept's main details intact while paying reverence to the car's realistic use cases, joking that the plain plastic pieces on the flanks of the front and rear bumpers are perfect for Parisian attitudes to parking. 

A barrage of interviews follow a 'round table' for us and rival publications to probe van den Acker and team about the car, which almost becomes a game of trying to get the best question in. The goal is to bring more to the story than simply the materials we're given, be it a good anecdote about the car's development, a comment on what it brings to the market or, ideally, a scoop on the next model to follow. 

Interviews and product demos complete, it's time to write the story while waiting for our designated slot to film one of three cars in an adjacent room. By the time we've transcribed the key quotes and written a draft, about an hour has passed, but we've got another two to wait until filming time. 

Just as well, because we've got to write different versions of the story for the magazine and for the website, with the latter typically requiring fettling to ensure it appears in search engine results and the like. This is also a great opportunity to think of follow-up pieces, such as 'op-eds' about the wider market context or additional news gathered in interviews. 

Finally, we're corralled into a separate room for filming one of three cars, all in different colours. We opt for the yellow, owing to it standing out best on camera, and fly around it with our phone recording the various different noises it makes. This tends to take only 15 minutes or so, but it goes on to attract almost one million views on social media. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by Autocar (@autocar_official)

 

Before the day really has a chance to slow down, we're back on the plane to Blighty. It's Friday night and everything is already filed, and it feels like a job well done. As we drift off for a nap, we sign off with the grown-ups at the office and begin to think about next week: another country and another few thousand words ready to be written. 

And so it goes. 

Do car reveals matter? An insider reveals all

Car reveals are important for the media, but what do the car firms themselves hope to get out of them? We asked Jim Holder, Renault UK's director of communications – and someone who has seen launches from both sides of the fence, having previously been Autocar's editorial director - to explain. 

What do you hope to gain from car reveals that you couldn't get from simply issuing a press release and some photos? 

"Deeper coverage, conveyed with authenticity and quality. To help the best media tell the best stories and bring life and depth to them, time with the car and the people who made it is critical. That's most obvious on video and social media, because the people or titles creating it tend to have a personality that they want to bring to the screen. But it's also true of printed or online media, which can use a reveal to get deeper stories that convey their and our expertise, give a first-hand impression of a car and tell the human stories behind it." 

How far ahead are such events planned, and how complex is the co-ordination between the central PR team and the various national arms? 

"Early planning starts at least a year out but, as with most big events, it starts to crystallise a few months ahead. The HQ team will organise the event, and then a few months ahead it's down to each country's PR department to pitch for which media they want to invite. The tension comes because media have to be very efficient with their time these days, so we need to prioritise time with our experts, plus filming and photography time." 

How do you decide where and how to do an event, and what challenges do they present? 

"Renault is a proudly French company, so if it's a case of bringing the audience to the car, then the majority of our reveals are done in Paris for practical and emotional reasons. The exception is motor shows, when the audience comes to the car. Even then, before most motor shows we'll do an embargoed pre-reveal so the media can have its in-depth coverage ready. You might ask why the media would then bother to attend the motor show. In truth, some don't but for those who want the most depth and the most insight, this is the chance to meet all the company experts, from quizzing the CEO to discussing the nuances of a bonnet line with the designer who created the first clay model." 

How do you measure and judge a return for it all? 

"There are formal metrics: volume of coverage, value of coverage, share of voice and more. As you can imagine, there are industries built on measuring the value and plenty of comparisons against past benchmarks, other countries and rival car makers. But I'm also a great believer in instinct. On a country level, I know if we've got the most from an event or not or, at least, the media will tell you, sometimes quite bluntly..." 

Our lasting launch memories

Mark Tisshaw: Celebrities would occasionally pop up at car launches, but it's less common these days-and anyway, I care little for such things.

With two exceptions: one, the reveal of the Brazilian-market three-door Volkswagen Gol at the São Paulo motor show in 2012, when footballer Neymar was bussed in. I've never seen anyone more mobbed: this was Indian cricket levels of fandom.

And, speaking of cricket, Sir Jimmy Anderson, my absolute hero, was at the launch of some Range Rover facelift in London a few years ago (pictured). I was genuinely star-struck and could barely mumble a word, so I went full cringe for a rather terrible photo with him. He must have thought I was a right plonker, but he was a lovely fella. 

Rachel Burgess: In 2018, I was in freezing Detroit for the motor show, British Airways had lost my bag, so I wasn't appropriately dressed, and there I found myself at the new Mercedes-Benz G-Class reveal with none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had been employed (or perhaps promised a free G) to awkwardly 'interview Mercedes' then CEO in front of an audience of media and the like.

An industry peer with more chutzpah than me not-so-subtly took a photo of us with Arnie in the background. And no, I can't find it. 

Felix Page: You would be forgiven for not knowing about the Mullen Five RS.

The American EV start-up presented its '1000bhp, 200mph' super-crossover at CES last year with a weird, panto-style play featuring various important historical figures, which would have been perplexing enough, had Abraham Lincoln's enthusiastic exit from the passenger side not prompted the door mirror to fall off - in front of a crowd of hundreds.

It did little for Mullen's credibility, and the firm has yet to launch a car.

James Attwood: The importance of the Lamborghini Urus SUV in helping grow the Italian firm was such that the launch was held in the brand-new factory building constructed specifically for its production in Sant'Agata Bolognese.

With the Italian prime minister on hand, quite the show was organised, including a performance by a series of factory robots' arms 'dancing' in sync. And then, midway through the slightly overblown performance, everything stopped, due to a power cut.

Eventually, then Lambo boss Stefano Domenicali stepped forward, apologised and beckoned for the Urus to be pushed onto the darkened stage by hand. 

Will Rimell: I walk into a warehouse with 100 or so others, and on the stage is footballing legend Eric Cantona. He's humming while pretending to read and continues this for 10 minutes.

It is very weird, and I'm about a foot away from him. He then leaps to attention and raves about the new Ford Capri before power posing on a rear wheel for pictures. Magnifique.