Everyone’s got a story. From slipping and sliding around an abandoned field to stalling innumerable times in a whisper-quiet side street, it seems nobody’s first time driving a car goes all that well.
Yet, on most occasions, it’s a tale told through a smile. What should be a deeply overwhelming experience ends up being joyful, and I reckon it’s all thanks to that most unsung of automotive heroes, the driving instructor.
They teach us about everything from biting points to brake distances with a seemingly universal dry wit, maintained despite a background of long hours, months-long waits for test slots and what must be among the most treacherous working conditions in civilian life.
These brave souls wake up every morning and willingly strap themselves into the passenger seat of a tonne or more of fast-moving metal, with a total novice at the controls.
Surely, I wonder, they must stir their coffee mulling what close shaves they’ll have today. Will it be errant acceleration into a pack of parked cars, an attempt to circumnavigate a roundabout anti-clockwise, or the failure to register a group of schoolchildren entering a zebra crossing?
They carry a great deal of responsibility, not just in protecting the learner in their guardianship but also the wider community exposed to the rookie at the wheel.
Given the sheer complexity of the modern car, that’s no mean feat. I learned in a Ford Focus with a standard throttle, brake and clutch, but also a button-operated handbrake, drive mode selector, reversing camera, speed limit detection and an overly paranoid emergency braking system.
That was daunting, but throw in the bings and bongs mandated by new legislation, or the awkward powertrain blending that can be introduced by electrification, and I can see it being downright overwhelming for a newbie.
Yet the sage in the passenger seat just powers them through it. Whether it’s a nurturing, guiding hand as they gradually paddle their way through side streets, or the hairdryer treatment after grating the nearside wheels on a high kerb, the driving instructor just has a way of making it work on most occasions.
Indeed, the UK’s driving test pass rate tends to hover at just shy of 50%, indicating instructors are largely keeping the overall system in balance.
I also have some appreciation for the emerging community of video instructors. With just a quick search online, you can find a professional describing your local test route just about wherever you live, in pretty much every kind of car you would learn in.
They’re fantastic for highlighting pain points and those silly (or worryingly dangerous) mistakes that learners tend to make on failed test attempts.
But it’s also rather good entertainment. I’m a particularly big fan of Conquer Driving, an instructor on YouTube who explains concepts in a way the budding enthusiast really understands. It’s his videos that taught me how to get a manual car moving quickly under pressure, and then how to rev match.
Even if you’ve been driving for yonks, I bet you’ll learn something from one of these instructors that you hadn’t previously considered.
I might even go so far as to suggest they’re the true petrolheads among us, laying their wellbeing (or at the very least their wealth) on the line so that we can all take to the roads ourselves.
